


Thirium and Broken Flower Pots

by ClockworkAttorney



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: AAAAAA, Android Discrimination, Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling, Fluff, Gavin Reed cooks, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Nines is a gardener on his spare time, Nines is bad at feelings, Not Beta Read, Slight Robogore, harrasment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 05:57:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21010877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkAttorney/pseuds/ClockworkAttorney
Summary: I've had this fic in the back burner for a while and I just wanted to say that, it's not perfect or beta read, but at least I'm proud of what it has become. My first 12K fic. Personally, i've always loved the creativity in the fandom and wanted to take part in one of it's creative events. I want to thank Blue who despite the fact that they couldn't get to post their awesome work they stil inspired me to continue when I doubted the validity of this work. Thank you, Blue. I hope you get to read this.





	Thirium and Broken Flower Pots

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this fic in the back burner for a while and I just wanted to say that, it's not perfect or beta read, but at least I'm proud of what it has become. My first 12K fic. Personally, i've always loved the creativity in the fandom and wanted to take part in one of it's creative events. I want to thank Blue who despite the fact that they couldn't get to post their awesome work they stil inspired me to continue when I doubted the validity of this work. Thank you, Blue. I hope you get to read this.

“The fuck happened here?” Detective Reed grunts.

** _Maurice, Albert James_ **

_ DECEASED _

_ Estimated time of Death: Aproximately two hours ago (18:32) _

Albert Maurice, 34, is lying on the floor. He’s clutching a photo of his now dead best friend. RK900 scans the photo to find that she had died of terminal illness that same morning. There doesn’t seem to be any murder weapon or visible injury. Maybe he was poisoned? and if so by whom? Himself? 

RK900 stands up from his kneeling position. Camera flashes illuminate the gruesome scene: There’s blood dripping from Mr Maurice’s half open mouth; his eyes are half open, as well. He looks ill and pale, more than he should, at least. What’s curious to Nines is that the room not only smells like death and decay already, but that there’s a flowery smell despite the lack of plants in the entire apartment.

“What the fuck is this smell,” Reed says. 

Blood and perfume? Nines dips one gloved finger in the pool of blood under the victim’s mouth and lowers his protective mask. Detective Reed grunts in disgust behind Nines when he samples it with his mouth.

Not possible, he can’t trace any alcohol in his olfactory receptors and the blood sample doesn’t have any trace of poison or toxin in it. He lets out a breath in frustration. A very human action. 

“Any idea about what happened to this poor bastard?” Detective Reed says, standing beside RK900; he’s dressed in his protective gear. He doesn’t sound annoyed. It’s the first time he’s kind of addressed RK900 without throwing an insult today. It always reassures RK900 when Gavin Reed proves he can be professional every once in a while.

“There’s no murder weapon and I couldn’t find any kind of toxin in his blood or saliva,” RK900 says frowning. What kind of death did this man have? He's accessed multiple databases, none of which coincide to this… unique set of circumstances. Not with the floral smell in the air. 

“...I’ve seen this before,” Chris Miller says under his protective gear. RK900 and Detective Reed turn to him. RK900’s frown is permanent.

“Some kind of disease. People don’t die from it often and I’ve only seen it once,” RK900 sees Reed crossing his arms from the corner of his eye. 

“There was a case 8 years ago. We found a woman in her apartment. No murder weapon. No signs of intrusion. No wounds. Nothing,” Officer Miller walks up and looks at the victim as if reliving the murder on the present day. “And there was this… perfume. Or, at least we thought it was perfume...” The officer kneels close to Maurice’s face. 

“You guys’ve never heard of Hanahaki disease before?” 

“Hana-what?” Reed grimaces.

**“HANAHAKI DISEASE”**

_ Noun:  _

_ Other languages: (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese))  _

_ Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. _

RK900 frowns at two things and, as he does so, a list appears at the corner of his vision:

  1. Fictional

  1. One sided love 

RK900 frowns. How are feelings, that the victim may not even realize are requited, supposed to make flora grow inside a human body? Flora needs resources that the human body could provide but that’s just _not_ how it works naturally- RK900 has questions flooding his mind palace and on the tip of his synthetic tongue but something about Miller’s expression and tone makes him not voice them out loud. Reed has the same expression of disbelief beside him. Something they agree on, it appears.

“It’s a disease in which the victim has flowers grown inside them as a result of unrequited love,” RK900 says through clenched teeth, not like anyone but Connor would notice. Reed gives a double take. 

“What the  _ fuck _ ? How-,”

“It’s trope of  _ fiction, _ ” RK900 blurts out.

Miller sighs, “I know how it sounds. But, as I said, it has happened before and me and Fowler have seen it,” Reed scoffs.

“And what do the reports say, huh? I think I would remember it if I had seen, fuckin’,  _ Hanahaki _ written somewhere. Is it japanese-”

“You should’ve seen us when we found someone had died with flowers in their lungs.” Miller snorts “The forensics team had the surprise of their lives,” As he talked the CSI were 

“We didn’t have a name for it then -In fact, no one knew what it was or if it was some kind of prank- and someone from the team was very, uh, knowledgeable of fictional tropes and so we named this,” Miller said vaguely gesturing at the body being taken away by the CSI Team “the Hanahaki disease”

Reed looks like he still has questions to ask but before he’s able to say anything Miller interrupts: “In the report it says that the victim had died of a heart attack,” he shrugs. “No one bothered to ask what really happened. And it’s not like courts would’ve believed us if we had said the victim’s death was all due to flowers originating from feelings,”

RK900 feels obliged to ask: “And how do you know the  _ flowers _ originate from the victim’s emotional state?”

“It’s a pattern. Every single victim we had was in some way, “friendzoned”. Friends and family close to them described them as such in jokes and passing comments,”

“And wouldn’t hospitals know about this?” Nines says, raising an eyebrow. Surely someone would’ve gone to the hospital. Flowers don’t grow instantly. Victims should’ve shown some kind of symptom before dying.

“We don’t think so. We asked around and everyone looked at us like we were crazy,” He shakes his head “It makes sense, doesn’t it? all the pain from someone rejecting you or not wanting to date you could be mistaken for the pain of flowers growing inside you,” 

RK900… doesn’t think it makes sense. Why would they not seek medical attention? 

“Well, that sounds convenient...” Reed mutters.

“That’s all we have theorized. We don’t know much more. After all, there hasn’t been many victims of it. We’ve only had three,” Miller said. 

The forensic team later found out Albert Maurice had pink carnations and hyacinths inside his lungs. The roots had destroyed his internal organs and the smell was originating from those flowers. RK900 still has a hard time believing it.

\---------------------

A week after Maurice’s case, everyone is introduced by Ryan Lucas Neil. RK900 doesn't pay much attention when he is introduced to everyone by Fowler. Neil, Ryan Lucas is a thin man with brown hair and green eyes. In RK900’s eyes his wardrobe seems to consist of expensive suits that don't quite fit him. 

Detective Neil had been transferred from another precinct (insert prestigious precinct), Fowler says. He needs someone to show him around. Reed scoffs at that. Fowler appears to notice this and after the small meeting he's telling Detective Gavin Reed he's going to do it. Nines can see the stats indicating Reed’s rising stress levels from where he was standing. He feels amusement fill him.

Before he goes Reed walks up to RK900 “He looks like he shits gold,” Reed mutters to RK900 with a laugh. RK900 blinks, since when does Gavin Reed joke with him? But RK900 let a small smile emerge on his face. He's proud of himself when he has an idea of what the detective means by “shitting gold”, all courtesy of lieutenant Anderson and deviancy. Kind of.

“I always hated those pretentious fucks. Let’s hope he doesn’t fit that description, Nines” Reed mutters meeting RK900’s eyes as he heads to the waiting Detective Neil. 

...Did Gavin Reed just nickname him?

RK900 had found that… pleasant. That interaction had meant nothing everything's, somehow. Reed had taken him into account. Maybe he was warming up to RK900. Maybe there exists a possibility he could be less insufferable at work. Yeah, maybe he can finally maintain a decent work relationship with the detective.

RK900 returns to his desk. He idly watches Reed show detective Neil the precinct as he films whatever paperwork he had been assigned.

\---------------------------

It's 6:30 AM and the only people inside are Nines, his human partner and a few officers from the night shift. Despite how caustic detective reed's attitude is, the human takes his work seriously. Nines realized that the first time he saw Reed so early. Nines admires that, however, being caught in the crossfire of one of the tantrums he's known for, it is not a pleasant morning surprise.

"...Like I give a shit about you or what you think, " Detective Reed mutters with a snarl, side eyeing Nines as he walks down the corridor. He's heading to the break room to get his morning cocoa, as always. 

Every time Nines goes to the store with the lieutenant and Connor he always remembers the detective from that brand of chocolate. it's not a pleasant reminder. 

His hostility is at its worst lately and all Nines wants is to work in relative peace; to not have to worry about the detective's irritability just to fill a  _ simple _ report. 

Reed is placing spoonfuls of Cocoa inside his black mug. Nines waits quietly behind him until he's poured hot water for his chocolate. His snarl comes back when Nines says:

“Detective, I-” 

“No,”

“Detective, if-

“I. don't. wanna. hear it. Nines!” 

Nines blinks, preparing himself for a pointless fight. The android needs to fill the report from the Maurice case. Reed had insisted on how he would do it; that he would finish it as soon as possible. that, Nines realizes, actually meant Reed won't do it until he feels like it— and he won't let Nines get it done. 

Nines can't help snapping at the detective; he's just as volatile as him, he thinks fleetingly. It's so easy for Nines to snap with him around; he's already emulating the human’s emotional immaturity. It would be humiliating if only he wasn't a newly awakened android instead of a thirty six year old human. That doesn't comfort him in the slightest. 

“Why are you so- difficult!” Nines's processors are practically collapsing against one another, trying fruitlessly to keep the android's irritation in check. His insides twitch angrily “You are wasting our time-” 

“Shut the fuck up! Don't tell me how to do my job, plastic,” Reed's nostrils flare. Anger. 

Reed is being difficult. Whether on purpose or not, RK900 doesn't care. He's… he's about to punch him. He knows it is considered childish to let yourself be controlled by emotions in such a way, by human standards, mind you, and he hates that he's about to behave like an infant who can't use anything other than crying to express itself. 

Why is Gavin so difficult?

RK900 is getting riled up. He has to step away and calm down. 

Nines's jaw clenches. He can feel the strong mechanisms that let his mouth move jitter against the force being applied against one another.

He should back out. Fighting with the detective is pointless at best and emotionally damaging at worst. There's no point to this other than the sick satisfaction of retaliation and self loathing, both at the moment and afterwards. 

“Don't make me report you,  _ Reed,  _ ” 

Gavin stops, slowly turning to look at Nines exasperatedly. Nines never adresses him that way when they are at work and Gavin knows this. There's tension in the air and Nines is painfully aware. He doesn't like that look of… Betrayal? On the detective's eyes. It opens a pit in his stomach, sucking all the satisfaction left inside him. 

“Fuck you, tin can,” he grunts, he walks away, stomping. 

“You always have a stick up your ass...” the detective says to no one in particular

Nines is doing the right thing. The detective must know that he won't tolerate his behaviour, no matter how… civil they have become towards each other. 

There's a preconstruction running in front of his eyes; a ghost of himself going up to the detective and apologising. But he won't, he did the right thing. The detective shouldn't put him between a rock and a hard place. He knows Nines…

Doesn't he? 

So he returns to his desk. Something weighs on his shoulders when Reed doesn't turn to him when he sits; the pressure against his back, pushing him towards Reed, is growing. 

He ignores it as he puts his hand on the terminal, to interface with it. He pulls up their new case in his HUD rapidly processing the data. 

Something slamming on the desk takes him away from his pseudo-trance. Nines looks up to find Reed, nostrils flaring and lips pursed. He snarls. 

“Why don't you let me work, Nines?!” the humans grey eyes narrow. “Don't play dumb, you piece of shit, you know what I'm talking about!” 

Nines wonders what expression he must be making. 

“I don't understand why you insist on making things take longer than they need to be” Nine's confesses. Gavin huffs, looking away from nines exasperatedly. 

“Is this about that goddamn report you wanted to finish? Fucking hell, Nines! I told you!  _ I  _ gotta handle it,” he puts his palm on his chest. 

“Your inefficiency, detective. You're taking too long-”

“What? You think our human ways are too shitty for that super computer brain of yours?” 

This is getting out of hand. 

“You know for a  _ fact _ that that's not what I meant-” Nines practically growls. 

“Some shit needs revision and I was assigned to do it so why don't you take your plastic ass somewhere else? I  _ won't _ let you touch it“ Reed says, finally sitting down. His eyes dart around before looking down to his terminal, frowning. 

The entire precinct had stopped what they were doing and decided to pay attention to Nines and detective reed's fight. The android feels something cold crawl up inside his throat. He swallows, mouth feeling strangely and impossibly dry. 

“So just shut up” Reed says, eyes never leaving his terminal. 

\---------------------------------------

That time when Detective Neil was introduced to the precinct wasn’t the only instance when Reed proved he had stopped considering RK900 less than a person. His systems tell him there has been a change ever since their last investigation, the Maurice case. Not exactly an improvement but it’s something.

Tara Newman is one of the few people who tried to talk to RK900 at the precinct. She didn’t have to but she had seemed genuine from the very first interaction and RK900 finds that valuable. He doesn’t want people, humans, interacting with him unless it's work related. Officer Newman is pleasant to talk to on breaks, he finds.

He greets her as Nines fetches a thirium bag from the break room’s fridge. She asks him how he’s been and he says he’s been good and he asks her and she responds with the same. They leave it at that and no more words are necessary. Nines likes that comfortable silence and the pleasantness makes him feel less worn out. 

Not many people go up to him and very few do so for anything that isn’t work related. Sometimes, if they dare, they come up to RK900 to spite him. They want to see him riled up. The amusing part is that they are trembling when they realize what going up to an Android designed for intimidation, with unusual security mechanisms is … funny to think about. He wishes he had someone to share those amusing experiences with who isn’t Connor, though.

Maybe he should talk to Florence Bellamy, his neighbor. She had been sick that morning. Maybe she can appreciate the company and help at the flower shop. This isn't the first time she has gone to work sick, she needs time off to get better. 

Nines takes the thirium bag and he hears footsteps behind him. The pattern isn’t Officer Newman’s or Reed's... He sighs as he stands up and turns to find Detective Neil.

“Good morning, Officer Neil,” What do you want? RK900 wants to ask. 

“So you are RK900?” Officer Neil said with a smile. His sensors easily detect this interaction is just to spite him. How nice. 

RK900 assesses Neil before saying “Yes,” He gives him a tight lipped smile “RK900. You have heard of me?” he can be charming if he wants to. He often chooses not to, though. 

“Oh yes. I’ve never worked with an android before and I’ve heard that you are the most advanced,” By human standards, that's an unusual thing to say. Only androids, in his experience, pay attention to such things without an ulterior motive. Not that officer Neil has one but, still, unusual. “Detective Reed said lots of good things about you,” RK900 chuckles in disbelief at that.  _ Did he now _ ?

“Interesting. He doesn’t seem like that kind of person,” Nines says. Yes, he’s sure those words couldn’t have come from Reed’s mouth.

“He did,” Says Neil. It sounds like he's convincing himself. His stress levels are rising. Nines can’t help the smirk. bingo. 

“You seem interesting,” And then he gives Nines the most unpleasant smile RK900 has ever seen in his short life as he comes to a conclusion. Is this guy… flirting with him? He needs more information to determine it, though. RK900 tilts his head.

“In what way?” he'll humor him, for now. There's nothing this guy can d that he can’t defend himself from.

”I don’t know, the revolution gave you guys freedom. Surely, you’ve been a dirty deviant,” He says the last part with a chuckle. RK900’s exhaustion and something akin to… fear? crawl back on his back. Maybe he does have an ulterior motive “How is deviancy working out for you?” He grunts all of a sudden “Wasn’t it better when you had no freedom?”

Nines is significantly stronger than this guy is and could take him on. His systems are already preconstructing ways to incapacitate the detective. He'd like to avoid getting in trouble, though. He wants to keep his pristine record. “Excuse me, I need to go back to work” He moves to leave, ready to write this off as another unfortunate encounter with colleagues who don't know when to be quiet, but Officer Neil cuts him off. “No, no, wait!”

“Stop this,” Nines says.

“You!” Neil mutters, “Don’t you understand you aren’t human? You were supposed to serve us. You hear me? us humans!” His change in demeanor would've unsettled a human. RK900 is not human and it's not like RK didn't see it coming. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Detective Reed is at the entrance, eyeing Neil.

“The android is getting offended over some innocent questions!” He whines. Nines blinks. 

“They weren’t, officer Neil,” The questions were specifically done to rile him up. He's familiar with the tactic. Gavin Reed uses it all the time. RK900 is already writing the report in his head and attaching some recordings from his memory banks. Its possible this man didn't think he was capable or he wouldn't have done this in such an obvious way. 

“C’mon, Neil, you know that’s bullshit,” Reed says approaching him, he looks mad. His breathing is heavy “I heard you, so unless you don’t know what’s good for you, I suggest you leave my partner alone,”

“You have some balls. I know what they are really like,” He says pointing at Nines.

"One day they want freedom and the next they want us all dead. It's unnatural, they aren't supposed to have a choice. I used to own the most advanced ones and all of a sudden I was supposed to let them leave. Just because they said so! What about my fucking money?" It's like RK900 isn't in the room. RK900 wonders how deep this... vendetta goes. 

“I know you were a piece of work from the moment I saw you, ” Reed says with a sneer. ”Get the fuck out,” Neil shrugs and then he moves to whisper to Reed's ear:

“Mark my words, Reed. That android is going to take your stupid job. He's supposed to be advanced, yeah? He could perfectly plan your murder-“ Reed pushes him. His lip is curled in disgust. 

“Get, the fuck, out,”

And like that, Neil runs away looking back at RK900 in disgust. RK900 finally uploads the report. ”Goddamn, what an entitled fuck…“

“You didn't have to do that,” Nine's said, annoyed. ”I am perfectly capable of defending myself, “

Gavin freezes in the spot “yeah…” he mutters to himself. RK900 lifts his brow. He expected Reed to deny it and call him something while he's at it, not to accept it. “I dunno, the way he had interacted with the android officers was… weird”

“I don't need you to save me from people like Neil,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… you are prototype for the military and shit. Of course you don’t,” he rolls his eyes. Nines opens his mouth but Reed interjects: “Don’t make this a big deal, tin can. I’ve been dying to tell that prick off for a while now,” and Reed leaves, stress levels had risen. For some reason, RK900 wants to do the same to the detective as well. He had everything under control.  _ Fuck _ . He refrains from saying anything, not sure why. Maybe it’s pointless. It… stings? for some reason. Well at least they have a stable working relationship. At least there’s that.

\---------------------------

The guy has a disciplinary warning and still works for the DPD. RK900 is not surprised. The regulations in place had been flimsy from the start and as long as the perpetrator doesn’t actually physically attack or call an android names they can get away with a slap on the wrist. He had interfaced with Connor about it and he seems just as unhappy as RK900. They find themselves having a conversation via android network at the break room the day after. 

_ Do you think detective Reed actually did it for himself? _

_ Not entirely. Maybe or maybe not. I don’t particularly care. _

He’s lying, he realizes. Connor does as well it seems because RK900 feels slight irritation coming form Connor’s end.

_ Then why talk about him and not the person who actually attacked you? _ They are looking at a particular spot in the middle of the room, as if reliving the scene. RK900 is close to preconstructing it. He doesn’t, of course. That would be pointless.

_ I don’t know. _

_ Do you consider him a friend?  _

_ Not… quite. _

_ Do you want him to be? _

Before RK900 has a chance to consider his reply, he receives a message.

“I have to go,”

\-------------------------

  
  


Pointless, pointless, **pointless,** _pointless,_ point-

Nines frowns Into his Thirium filled cup. 

Gavin gave it to him. 

He's sitting on an ambulance outside the mansion the squad and him had to search. 

Things didn't go as planned and they attacked first. 

Many were injured and if it hadn't been for Nines his coworkers would have returned home in body bags. . 

He had to sacrifice his left arm and leg but… he doesn't mind. At least he doesn't think he does… 

As soon as nines got out of that heavy, wooden door, injured officers behind, Gavin had been the one to pull him to an ambulance. Nines hadn't noticed he had lost an arm and got shot on the leg. He didn't feel the limp and hadn't noticed the HUD notification telling him he needed to replenish thirium. 

He felt… 

Gavin sat him on a stretcher and popped up minutes later with a cup full of Thirium. He needs more than that. He had taken Nines's hand and put the cup in it, giving him a gentle squeeze that made Nines feel pleasantly warm. 

Familiar. 

Comforted. 

The human's grey, tired eyes met Nines, or tried to. He gave Nines a small nod and left. Nines still feels the ghost of warm hands. His sensors replay that sensation over and over again as he also replays the way Gavin had looked at him then. 

He sips on his cup again. He glances at it, it’s almost empty. 

“Thank you,” Nine's had whispered. Gavin just nodded, looking awkward. 

“Don't mention it.” a pause

“You did well back there,”

“It's what I was designed to do, ” 

“I mean- yeah, but-” Gavin had shifted on his feet. “Still, everyone got out alive.”

“you went out of your way to save them-” Gavin had gestured to the people around them, lots of them being bandaged. 

Nines had kept staring at his cup “yes,”

“just--you did a good job, okay?” 

The human pats Nines' back. The android's eyes had met the human's one more time. 

“It's late, detective. You should go home and rest,” Gavin frowned. 

“Wait, where will you go? Where do you even  _ sleep _ ?” Gavin had looked incredulous. Concerned. 

“I don't sleep, detective. I always head to the precinct and go on standby on a charging port” it never mattered which one it is. 

Gavin looked appalled, eyes examining nines. He looked angry. 

“Would you… want to stay with me?” 

Nines stopped. 

_ Thank you _

“You don't have the supplies I need,” Nine's said dumbly. He didn't know what he thought of the-- _ offer _ , anyway. “I need to go to cyberlife for repairs,” he said, nodding to the ambulance. 

“We can arrange that, later-”

“I don't need a  _ home _ , detective, ” home. Does he? Maybe he should move in with the lieutenant and Connor. But he doesn't  _ need _ one. 

Does he want one? 

“Nines-”

“ _ Gavin _ ,” 

The human had stopped talking, then. He never did that around Nines. 

I-

I want to. 

I can't.

_ Thank you _

“I'll be fine.” he had hoped the smile he practices everyday had reassured the detective. Connor always did it easily. 

It took Gavin a while to respond “you sure?”

“Yes,” he said, “Thank you, Gavin,”

Thank you for the thirum

Thank you for the warmth

Thank you for caring

“Anytime,” and he had walked away. 

Now, Nines feels… Torn. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. 

He needs to talk to Connor. Maybe he can point him in some direction. 

——----------------------------- 

He waters Florence’s flowers at her backyard. She’s sitting on her garden chair, her long brown hair sways with the wind. She is quiet while he moves from one corner of the garden to the other. 

Florence is in her mid forties. Due to an injury in her hip she couldn't work as a nurse anymore so she settled for a job in the flower shop which she now owns

“What makes this human so different? Why is he special to you?”

The question catches him off guard. It's takes him a while to reply. 

“He isn't,“ the flowers look so pretty today. Florence's care and the watering have helped them grow. Their soft pastel colors stand out from the vibrant green grass. “I just”

“Feel drawn to him.” 

His LED is yellow. 

\------------

Errors have been littering his HUD for long enough now. 

Something has,  _ invaded,  _ his insides and is wreaking havoc in his systems. 

He needs a check up in an android clinic, soon. He has never had a problem even with his rare android parts. He hasn't required more than a few check ups so far. The alerts indicate that this is definitely more serious. 

He realizes this as he works. 

Gavin is (finally) finishing reports in time and submitting them early. Nines wishes he could see him work more often. The glasses he's wearing suit him very well. 

The last thought shakes him. Since when has he started thinking such things about Gavin?... He's allowed to look. Gavin has always been a fascinating individual and each time they talk Nines gets the urge to get to know him more. 

A pang fills his metallic organs and he brings up a hand to his chest. He really needs to get checked out. 

He sets up an appointment to the nearest clinic as he watches Gavin chew a pen as he thinks. A pleasant twinge in his chest is quickly replaced by searing pain. This time he can't help gritting his teeth and the grunt. 

Gavin is quickly at his side. 

“You okay, nines?” his usual aggressive drawl is not as strong this time. There's something… Mellow covering it. Concern. The humans warm hand falls on his shoulder. It makes his stomach churn. 

“... I need a check up” is all Nines can say. His ventilation system is working overtime. There's some thing wet at the back of his throat. Something oily. 

“Want me to drive you?” Nine's hadn't noticed before but Gavin has a different kind of frown warping his features. Concern. He's concerned, Nines systems reveal. 

“Yes” Nines doesn't want to speak more than that. 

With a nod, Gavin drapes Nines's arm over his shoulder and helps him get up from his seat. Nines knows this is unnecessary. His chassis and parts don't lock up and impede movement unless it is severely damaged. The wave of pain that sweeps him off of his thoughts exactly a second after is enough to halt his train of thought, though. 

Nines hisses, letting his head fall on Gavin's shoulder. He closes his eyes for a moment. What kind of error or problem could be causing this? 

They pause momentarily by Fowlers office. Nines can barely focus on the conversation. Gavin is taking him to the “android hospital or whatever,” Nine's thinks he saw Connor and Hank. 

He doesn't know where they went only that Gavin's voice soothes him as they head out of the precinct. 

The walk to Gavin's car is eternal. A desert where Nines discovers the sun can melt him and the sand can pull him down to hell. Gavin's presence is enough to pull him out and refresh him. To keep him going. 

Nines's eyes focus on the backseat. The door has been opened (by gavin) and he's gently helping him in. Nines crawls inside the space and lies there. He has to bend his legs to fit inside but he quickly discovers he doesn't care at this point. His head is littered by notifications and warnings that are giving him what humans could call a headache. 

Gavin closes the car door and leaves him in silence for a second. Enough to make him realize what happened. 

It's not enough to come to a conclusion as Gavin opens the drivers door and gets inside. 

Nines can hear Gavin's ragged breathing and perceive his stress, Nines realizes feverishly. 

“Everything will be fine, Nines…” Gavin's head turns slightly to Nines, sneaking a quick glance before turning on his car. Concern. There's that soothing quality to his voice again. Nines clings to it for the rest of the ride.

They somehow arrive to the nearest cyberlife clinic. The door is opened and Gavin helps him out of the car. Nines hunches over himself as he gets out of the car, unable to move normally.

Nines blearily realizes how perturbed Gavin looks. He must really appear like a mess. Well, then. He can leave as soon as Nines gets checked out. He doesn't need Gavin. 

" Perhaps you should just leave, then."

“ _ What _ ” Gavin looks so taken aback, his question doesn't have the right inflection. “Nines, it'll be fine. Look” he lets Nines take in the scenery and sure enough they're at the receptionists desk. He's getting Nines an appointment. “It's gonna be fine. We're gonna fix whatever is going on with you,“ Gavin says, putting a warm hand on his tense shoulder. 

Nine's mouth turns dry. 

Gavin sits Nines beside him in the waiting room near the reception. All Nines wants to do is to stop thinking. 

One hell and a half later, Nines gets called in by an android with a human nurse attire. He instantly frowns. Why have android's adopted said attire when there's no need for it? Bacteria won't affect android kind as much as humans so why even bother. Is it because android's sometimes arrive with their human compa-

Another twinge in his gut. He snarls. 

Someone sits him on an observation table. He can barely sit straight from fear of making the pain worse for himself. 

There's two people in the room. One's definitely Gavin. He has a heartbeat and can sweat and the other is-

“Good evening, my name is Franco and i’ll be of assistance for today,” 

From the corner of Nines's eye he can see the android shaking hands with Gavin. 

The android--  _ Franco _ , he reminds himself-- sits on a nearby chair no doubt to reassure the human and give an air of confidence and calm. 

Nines snarls. He has no time for this. He needs help  _ now- _

“have you experienced Thirium blockages?” Nines startles. He didn't notice when Franco and Gavin stopped with the pleasantries and started doing something. 

Nines winces as he speaks. His voice box is distorted. “No, they're clear… I clean them every week myself,” he can't help the irritated tone seeping into the already marred sounds of his synthetic throat. 

The android only nods which is infuriating to Nines. “Any dislodged biocomponents, recently?” Nines bites his tongue. 

“No, I perform a self check every day. I've never caught anything unusual,” 

“Let me see”

Nines complies with irritated resignation and pain. He takes off his jacket and folds it. Gavin takes it from him, brushing their hands briefly. Nines looks up and finds Gavin's expression to be one of concern. He's mad at something too. Hopefully not Nines. He drove him here after all. He must have interrupted something. 

Nines grunts, another stab of pain invades his biocomponents. 

He lets the jacket go both mentally and literally before taking off his shirt. Everything hurts. How can anything hurt? After the care he has taken of his systems-

Once the shirt is off, Nines turns off his skin. He… is this how humans feel when naked? Gavin is staring which makes him try to hide this chest. He immediately shrugs off the ridiculous thought as the android approaches.

Franco dislodges his chassis and starts looking inside. Nines fills his synthetic lungs with oxygen deeply, this is just a check up. He won't try anything on Nines. 

"Can you get on the maintenance rig?" Nines resists the urge to roll his eyes. Why didn't he ask in the first place? Nines gets on it. His eyes lock on Gavin's as he's lifted from the ground by the rig automatically. He can't quite place the look the human's giving him. 

Maybe it's curiosity. Humans are very curious creatures. He'd find it more endearing if he weren't uncomfortable and in pain. Another shock runs through him. 

Franco takes a cable hanging from behind the rig and plugs it on a port at the base of Nines's neck. Nines shudders, blinking the discomfort away. 

There’s nothing in him.

There’s nothing indicating any sort of damage inside of him.

Nines’s systems prickle in irritation. What. is it.

\----------------------------------------------

It all starts innocently enough. 

The pains become gradually common. Nines stops telling Gavin about them. Initially, the man wanted Nines to tell him whenever they occurred (It’s not like he would’ve been able to do anything about them anyway, Nines realizes sadly) but after a month, two days and three hours of constant, chronic waves of pain Nies has given up. 

He detests feeling like a burden. Watching that man, who’s not outwardly nice become concerned and watching his descent to despair and desperation makes Nines feel heavier than he actually is. Gavin doesn’t look good sad and desperate and earnest. 

Nines walks back home after Florence showed him another batch of blue carnations. Nines was quite surprised to find out that that is not their natural color. It’s a synthetic flower. Florence found it poetic and Nines… Nines finds he likes the idea. It reminds him of himself in a way. Not the nicest way, after all, according to Nines’s web search, they mean “moodiness” an “ capriciousness”. He’d associate those characteristics with Gavin instead, he thinks fondly.

He thinks is nothing. The pain flares by the time he’s opening the door. It had already appeared by the time he was at Florence’s. It filled him with exhaustion, after all who’s he gonna tell it to? No android would believe him and they would be quick, too quick, to prove how wrong Nines is.

Nines knows this, he checked himself the first week feverishly but to no avail. There. was nothing.

He gave up after that and he always dreads the pain. He hasn't pinpointed a specific pattern to it yet and grinding his gears (He thanks Gavin internally every time he gets the opportunity to use that expression)

He unlocks the door and this time. The grind inside his tubes and biocomponents is unbearable. He doubles over as soon as the door closes. He thinks he’s going to explode.

Nines pants as he feels something interrupting normal processes inside his chest. He needs to get it out now. Now now now nownownow

He rips off his sweater and everything underneath, leaving his chest bare. He rips the plate containing his vital organs with a swift, desperate and precise swipe. Coughs wrack his entire body. There are specks of blue on the ground along with-

A single blue carnation.

Nines takes it in one hand with glitched out skin. He detects pollen and chlorophyll filling his esophagus and RA9 knows what else. His synthetic lungs fill with air and expel it before Nines can even make use of the air.

He’s sick.

Nines doesn’t know how to feel. Disbelief is the first emotion he identifies as he stays there, potentially bleeding out and about to shut down. His specialized visual receptors see the flower, innocent and nihilistic, lying on his apartment floor but he can’t quite work out where it came from, or where it was going. Why is it inside Nines? 

That’s it. It must have slipped from his visit to Florence. He has to talk to her soon, then. Not right now. He feels… on edge. On edge and tired.

Yeah, soon.

\-------------------------------------

He shut down. How does he know this?

Connor.

Connor found him.

He “woke up” on a cyberlife maintenance rig. Everyone is here concern and anger on their faces.

Gavin’s eyes were red. Nines didn’t need a preconstruction to tell he had been crying. He had been worried this whole time.

“Do you know what you did to yourself, Nines?” Connor’s daring Nines to play dumb. His face tense in anger; voice sharp as steel. it’s the angriest Nines has ever seen him. Not even Gavin had ever gotten on Connor’s nerves like this, as far as he knows. 

Nines is inclined not to respond. He has a feeling that no matter what his response is, it’ll be the wrong one. But then he spots Gavin’s upset face in the corner of his eye. His expression is one of betrayal and hurt. Gavin is not even mad with him. He’s probably thinking about the instances where he has asked Nines multiple times to trust him. to just talk to him. It’s clear Nines still does not trust Gavin with matters of life and death. He closes his eyes to block out the incoming thoughts.

“Well?” Connor eyes burn into Nines. He’s actually expecting a response from him. All right.

“I...” Connor stays quiet. It’s clear his presence has permeated throughout the room. Not even Lieutenant Anderson is making an effort to ask questions. Connor orchestrates the interrogation now. “Extracted a dangerous component from the inside of my systems.”

“Extracted,” Connor echoes, a smile rises to his cheeks. Nines knows better than to trust it means anything good for him. 

“Nines, that was a goddamn crime scene,” Connor says, dangerously low. Everyone does a double take. Nines sees the lieutenant sputter at the scold combined with the swear. Looks like Connor’s anger is unfamiliar to him, even if he has lived with Connor for a year now.

Nines doesn’t reply. He regards Gavin instead who’s taking in every part of electronic equipment inside the room. There’s no engineer in sight. Maybe they left Nines to his demise. Wise.

“Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been for you? Why did you- you rip yourself apart?” Through the anger Nines knows Connor ultimately wants to understand. 

Gavin then turns to him. Anger slightly warps his features and he walks up to Nines. “How could you,” It’s whispered harshly against Nines’s brand new plastic chest. Bright tears emerge from Gavin’s bloodshot eyes. Nines wants to hug the man so badly even if he was the one responsible for his pain in the first place.

Connor and Hank who hasn’t said a word through the whole thing stare at Gavin. Nines supposes Gavin’s pain must have been so great and so visible they preferred to let him hug it out as much as he wanted. Nines hates himself even more, suddenly.

“I’m sorry,” Nines whispers. All signs of aggressiveness leave Nines as he puts his head on top of Gavin’s. Gavin is not his usual angry self, the one who Nines is absolutely certain (his systems tell him so) Gavin would flat out deny or push away from. Instead, it seems to invite Gavin closer. Gavin buries his face under Nine’s chin. His grip is steadfast on Nines’s chassis. 

Something hits Nines then. He can’t leave this human being behind. Maybe he should feel guilty about not thinking about Connor or Hank or the friends he’s made along the way before this or about leaving them behind. Maybe. But Gavin has become... something else.

Nines has to find a cure. He can’t give up yet, as tempting as it might be. If it means not seeing Gavin’s pained face ever again.

Once Nines is left alone at Gavin’s apartment (Gavin had insisted he stay with Nines in case the pains came back) he starts asking himself what was that flower doing inside of him. He looks down at the man in his lap. They are both wrapped in a blanket as they watch a movie in Gavin’s old couch. He hesitantly runs his plastic fingers on Gavin’s hair, skin gone. That flower can’t man what he suspects, can it?

Is this the disease from that case all those weeks ago?

He saw it and he would be a fool for denying the possibility, logic be damned. He’s seen what it does to human beings. Is he alive enough to suffer the same consequences for the same reasons? likely.

Gavin stirs. Nines keeps his movements slow and as soothing as possible. The man is still on edge after Nines’s… incident. The touch is enough to keep him calm in his sleep, Nines finds. He… doesn’t have any right to have this kind of power. the power to make or break gavin with what little he does. He doesn’t want that and yet-

And yet he wants to cause other sorts of reactions to Gavin. More pleasant ones.

There's a dreaded weight in his thirium pump as he thinks Hanahaki disease might just be the right diagnosis.

\---------

"Are you crying?" his proximity sensors detect a someone behind him; they are approaching him slowly, as if he would snap at the slightest of sounds or sudden motions. 

  
"You okay, Nines. Are you in pain again?" He’s so concerned. So earnest.

Human communication. Verbal, non verbal. How the hell have humans survived for so long with limited ineffective way to express themselves and expect an effective connection? How have they succeeded? How can a state of the art android be incapable of it? 

RK900 doesn't know what to say. What is he feeling, he isn't sure. He feels… heavy and hot and wet. But then he… Feels … like a weight has left his chest when his muddled up systems recognize who's cooing at him. Maybe he knows, no matter how explosive and temperamental the detective is. 

“I'm not sure,” he states it without hesitance, completely separate from what he's feeling. He assumes the detective knows that because he says:

“It's okay, Nines. I've, I've got you,” 

Nines feels a warm weight pressing against his back. Arms with hidden muscle and a history marked on them gently wrap around him. He sways to a silent rhythm with… Gavin. 

  
  


… Gavin. 

  
  


Gavin. 

He feels pressure inside him, error messages show up in his HUD parroting what he already… Feels. What he already knows. 

He's bleeding internally, his systems reveal to him five minutes after. 

\--------------------------

“Truth or dare, tin can,” Gavin starts as they drive home from the precinct.

“What?” Nines is clueless as to what Gavin means. They’ve been walking together to Gavin’s apartment lately. Gavin appreciates the company, Nines realized one day, even if Gavin would never say such a thing out loud.

“Oh, c’mon, Nines,” Gavin says with a scoff. “Don’t tell you don’t know what truth or dare is,” Gavin kicks a can as they walk. The night sky is familiar and a welcome presence. Nines’s not sure he’d have it any other way.

“I don’t, Gavin,” Nines says. Connor has never mentioned anything of the sort. Maybe it’s one of those things humans do when they’re younger. Gavin has introduced him to several things lately, now that they spend much more time together. Nines never tires of watching Gavin be excited about sharing something with him. Nines finds he likes it when Gavin explains things to him. He’d rather hear from Gavin on this regard. It’s… it feels good.

So good , he wishes the pains weren’t becoming as constant as they are now. Sure, he hasn’t had a big attack since collapsing in his own apartment but it seems those prickles of pain and the apparition of blue carnations every morning is becoming an unfortunate routine he has to bear. He has no idea why he never tells Gavin. Every time he convinces himself something bad is happening to him and has to tell Gavin so they find a solution, he sees Gavin looking content and at ease. Nines doesn’t want to break that.

It also doesn’t help that there’s no know cure other than feelings reciprocation, if Nines’s google searches have proven to be fruitful. He dares not explore the depth of his feelings towards the human.

“Well, you got two options: Truth means i get to ask you a question and you have to answer as truthfully as possible,” Gavin says.

Ah, he sees where this is going. His mouth slips into a small grin, “I assume they are uncomfortable questions?”

“Nah, only if the asker is enough of an asshole to do it,” they pass by a small park. It still has snow covering every bench and tree. It should be unpleasant. The cold weather has always made Nines feel uneasy. Except-

“So you would?” he asks Gavin.

“Heh, maybe. if you piss me off,” Gavin quips, wearing a grin of his own.

“I’ll try not to, then,” Nines chuckles. They stop at Gavin’s apartment, as Gavin unlocks the door Nines says. “So, based on the information that you’ve given me, by dare you mean you’ll make the victim- I mean askee go through a trial of your choosing?” Nines asks with a small quirk of the lips.

Gavin unlocks the door and with a proud smirk, a mischievous glint to his eye as he looks at Nines before entering when he says “You got it, man.”

Lights are turned on and soup is put to boil on the stove. The smell of chicken soup floods the warm apartment. Nines will return to his apartment tomorrow. That’s usually how the arrangement goes: The entire week Nines will stay at Gavin’s apartment and sleep on the couch as per his request despite Gavin’s endless protests every night and he’ll return on the weekends to put things in order and do chores. The routine is only broken if there’s something Nines needs to take out of his home but it’s quickly becoming useless. His work is now at Gavin’s apartment for the most part, due to the time he already spends there. 

Every time he goes back it feels… empty. Gavins presence has become a comfort to his now pain-full life and he wonders how long he has before-

No, he can’t run the calculations right now. Not with Gavin heading to the couch to eat dinner.

“So. Wanna play truth or dare?” Gavin turns on the TV, changing the channels until he finds a movie he likes.

“Shouldn’t you focus on your eating?” Nines eyes him up and down, raising an eyebrow. Gavin eating on the couch isn’t anything unusual but he’d hate for Gavin to choke while speaking or spilling the soup all over himself if he laughs too hard. It seems silly but he cares for the detective’s well-being.

Gavin groans “Oh c’mon, Nines. I can do both, trust me.” Gavin slurps loudly on his soup and Nines rolls his eyes, knowing the human is doing it on purpose.

“I might if you eat first.”

“That a promise?” Gavin asks with a cheeky grin. 

“Yes,” Nines says.

It takes Gavin half an hour to finish his meal. Nines finds himself stealing glances to the man every once in a while. Gavin sometimes mentions facts about the movie his watching which Nines appreciates. Not because he’s watching the movie but because he likes seeing Gavin passionate about something.

“How’s the soup?” Nines asks. 

“It’s-” The spoon clatters on Gavin’s plate and immediately he makes an ‘okay’ sign with his right hand. He then pinches his fingers together and brings them to his lips, exaggeratedly pleased expression on his face while he kisses those fingers and then spreads them open. “-the epitome of my cooking skills, I tell you. I should've been a chef in another life.”

Nines lifts his eyebrows “Sure.”

“Don’t believe me?” Gavin has a smirk on his face.

“What? oh no, no.” Nines relaxes his face and then grins. “I just like seeing how passionate you are for cooking even though you’re not a professional chef or someone who specializes in it.” Nines still has trouble on understanding the point of hobbies, even if he has his own. He downloads the necessary components and data to take care of the task. Learning something by himself is still strange to him and he hates being out of his depth. 

Gavin looks stunned for a moment only for him to smile and say: “You don’t need to be a professional on something to want to explore it.”

Nines identifies the tone, it's the one Connor uses when he explains things to him, from human customs to some unspoken rule he had no idea existed. He doesn’t mind it as much on Gavin because he doesn’t do it often unlike Connor who’d scold him after it. He supposes it’s only natural he’d prefer Gavin, being someone he chooses to spend time with except-

“Can we play truth or dare now?” Gavin asks while he stands up with the plate in hand, presumably to leave it in the sink to wash later and have Nines remind him every day until he eventually does. 

“Of course,” Nines says.

“Awesome!”

Once Gavin is back he sits facing Nines, Nines mirrors him. “Okay, I go first,” Gavin clears his throat dramatically. “Truth or dare?”

Nines is amused already. “Truth. I will not subject myself to whatever dare comes to your mind Gavin.”

Gavin brings his hand to his heart. “You wound me,” he says.

Nines feels the urge to laugh. 

“Anyway, hmm...” Gavin stares into space for a moment. “How about- What was your first impression of me?”

Nines thinks for a moment. Nothing wrong with being absolutely truthful right? after all they’re friends now. “Connor had warned me about how hostile you are to him before the android revolution,” Nines begins. Gavin scratches his head, embarrassed. Nines wonders if Gavin had expected this outcome in anyway before asking the question. “I was wary at first, except-” Nines smirks, “you proved to be harmless. I easily intimidated you-”

“No, you didn’t-”

“So you were always so stiff around me. Until we got that first case and you told me how you didn’t believe androids were “walking hunks of plastic” anymore,” Nines makes quotation marks with his fingers. Gavin goes red. 

“I’m glad we got to know each other better,” Nines says with a smile.

“yeah, same,” Gavin says with a smile. “You know, i tried to apologize to Connor but Hank wouldn’t let me.”

Nines snorts, “He’ll do anything to protect him even if Connor is more durable than any human being alive.”

“Must be nice,” Gavin says wistfully.

“What is?”

“Being protected by someone, you know? Having someone care about you that way?” It takes a few seconds for Nines to work out what “that way” means.

“You mean romantically?” Gavin nods.

“Well, I’m not sure if that’s how their relationship works. I haven’t asked Connor but, I have to mention, it doesn’t surprise me why you think that way,” Nines says

“Wait, so they’re not together? woah,” Is it that incredible? Nines muses.

“As far as I know, no. However I’ve seen what Connor thinks of Mr. Anderson and it does seem to fit that romantic aspect you mention,”

“They’re pining for each other?”

“Possibly,” Nines says. Gavin whistles, impressed.

“Your turn, Gavin”

“Aw, you’re no fun, tin can,”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare”

“I dare you to wash that plate right now,” Nines says with as much stoicism as he can muster, he doesn’t muster much, of course. With Gavin it’s become hard to stay stoic.

“Fuck man” Gavin grumbles as he stands up to wash the dish. Nines can’t help but out right giggle at Gavin’s surprise. It’s...endearing. Nines likes that about him too. Its doesn’t take Gavin much to come back, he looks at Nines with mock-judgement with those green eyes. Nines’s smile becomes bigger.

“Truth or dare, you mad android,” Gavin says with a smirk, sitting back down on the couch.

“Truth”

“Have you ever fallen in love with someone?” Gavin 

“No, I have to admit I haven’t”

“Really? people, or androids, must be throwing themselves at you,”

“Hmm not really. I think i… intimidate them if someone does like me or ‘throw themselves at me’ as you say,”

“Aw, that’s a shame. Whoever ends up with you will be very lucky”

“What makes you so certain?” Nines asks, genuinely confused. Gavin freezes.

“Uh, well, you’re a good guy.” Gavin doesn’t elaborate more. Surely there must be more to it. Nines is not the only “good guy” out there. oh well, he has other things to worry about than potential romantic partners.

Nines feels himself squint. “If you say so.” 

Gavin hastily calls their game ff after some time. Seems like he got bored of Nines asking questions. Nines gets that. 

Gavin’s question about his romantic life has him thinking still, even while Gavins sleeps in his room and Nines is supposed to enter stasis. He’s supposed to return to work in a few days.

He knows there must be a specific reason why Gavin talked about Nine’s love life like that. He’s not stupid. However, he can’t help but think he’s wrong. He’s been wrong about his assumptions before, especially concerning Gavin’s contradictory behavior. What if Gavin wants him? 

It makes Nines shudder, he’s not sure what to make of the question. He can observe it and realize what he’s asking himself but he doesn’t really want to explore what it means and could be. He knows this emotion.

He’s scared.

He tentatively approaches the subject in his mind. Gavin reciprocating feelings he…

Does he have them? does he want Gavin Reed as a potential romantic partner?

His mid-section flutters. Maybe.

As soon as the word maybe appears in his mind he's hit with pain. His eyes widen. No, not again. Not now. 

It's Gavin, then. 

He tries not to think about how Gavin has progressively stolen his- Thirium pump? How the moody and crass man has become more important to Nines than either of them ever expected him to be. 

The flowers are growing stronger.

He doesn't have much time left.

He has to get away. Push Gavin away if he wants to live. 

\--------

Nines sits in the middle of his barren apartment. 

It's all because of Reed. 

He knows it's ridiculous. It's impossible

The man he has only known for a year is the main cause of his predicament. Maybe it's irrational to pin what is a unique disease to one man. But he can't help it. He hasn't done anything to guarantee something like this. His connections tend to be platonic at best and-

He didn't think he'd become so infatuated. 

He has to restrain his systems from thinking about Reed That's his solution for the chronic pain. 

And it works. He hasn't grown any flowers this weekend. He feels idiotic for never considering it. 

It's complicated to avoid Reed since he's Nines's partner and all. But maybe he can get a transfer… 

Everything is working to plan. All he has to do is stop being infatuated and keep his distance. 

\------------

He doesn’t show up the next day to work. On his way he had sent the precinct a message, letting them know he needed to be checked out at Cyberlife. He did, in a way. He needed to get a replacement. The last one hell get from emotional pain, he hopes. 

After he helps Florence and he's stepping into his building he finally feels like relaxed. he didnt know it was possible for him to do so. 

As he's about to open the door, he receives a message from his partner. 

_ where the hell have you been _

Nines frowns. Maybe he should've told R33d himself.

_I'm arriving home,_ _is something the matter_? 

_ You _

_ ?  _

_ You are the matter. Why didn't you tell me you wouldn't arrive? Did something happen?  _

He's about to type out a response when a notification pops up in his vision. 

Incoming call

Gavin Reed

Shit. He forgot to change the name. A twinge of fear spears his chest. He has to minimize his symptoms. 

He thinks about ignoring the call but there's no excuse for him not to answer. 

He enter his home. He answers. 

"Nines,"

Nines doesn't respond at the name.

"goddammit nines. I know you're right fucking there. Say something,"

He wants to literally say "something" but he knows that it wouldn't end well.

"I made some errands. That's all."

"Errands?"

"Getting new parts. I'm sorry, I should've told you."

"You're right about that! I was goddamn worried about you." And he has every right to be, doesn't he? 

Should he tell him? 

No he can't. If he wants to avoid pain he can't let Gavin know. His solution won't be met with a positive response, he's sure. 

"it's nothing. I'll be back soon," Nines says. He doesn't tell him how that won't last. He can't bring himself to tell him that, either. 

"Thank god for that. You have no idea how much work is there to be done," he says with a chuckle. 

_ You have no idea,  _ thinks Nines briefly. 

\---

Nines requests the transfer and feels surprisingly satisfied with his abrupt attempt at à solution this early on. 

He's told Connor he can't stay for stress reasons and although he gives Nines a suspicious look as he explains he agrees that Nines should do something about his constant emotional distress, if the self-destruction attempt is anything to go by. 

Nines understands and is also satisfied with Connor's lack of questioning. He should tell Gavin. 

Wait, no. He can't. Hell viciously fight to make Nines stay. 

Nines feels a flare of fire in his gut. He shouldn't keep Nines from recovering. He can't. 

Nines finally sits in his desk. Waiting for Gavin to arrive. 

Ever since that call the need to clean his body from floral I strussions has become an everyday task. All the more reason to run away, he thinks. 

Except. 

He does resent how Gavin is magnet to his attention. He can't help but look at the man and feel good knowing when he does Gavin will smile at him or pat him on the back. It's not fair he has to leave that to live. 

He'll do it anyway. His sense of survival, he discovers, is much much greater than his craving of happiness. Hell find someone else, he reassures himself. yeah, that will do. 

\-------

"Why do you hate me?"

Gavin’s voice breaks into Nines’s concentration, the only thing he lets break his concentration no matter how pointless the message inside it is.

The message 

When did he get that idea?

“I don’t hate you, detective,” He says, feeling what he thinks is irritation at the attitude the detective sports. Nonchalance, Nines wishes he could be blissfully unaware as well. He wishes the detective could mind his own business, sometimes. 

Like right now. He finally looks at the human, giving in to his wishes again. He may be a deviant but he obeys Gavin’s wishes too much to prove it. 

Gavin gives him a humorless laugh, leaving a cold smile on his scarred, sun kissed face.

“Why are you avoiding me, then?” He says, a little more serious, maybe... hurt? No, Gavin Reed won’t make him succumb to his wishes. Not now. Not when Nines is a ticking bomb, a grenade, threatening to blow up anything that gets too close. Not when Gavin has someone else to worry about. Not when he has other friends while Nines can’t even compare to them. He can’t compare to Gavin’s old friend. He can’t give him his friendship anymore.

Nines wants more than Gavin is willing to give.

“I’m not avoiding you detective,”

Gavin scoffs “you aren’t avoiding me?! you can’t even look at me in the eye, Nines,” Gavin is furious. But his face softens as Nines doesn’t respond. He looks behind him before he asks “Did I do something?,” he whispers. His eyes are so green and he’s observing Nines. Nines is conflicted.

“No,” he said simply, unable to explain with all the errors showing on his HUD.

\-----------

Gavin keeps trying to talk to him

“Are you that starved for contact, detective ? ” 

He says gruffly patting the android on the back. He lets his hand rest on the android’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

Nines fights the urge to brush the warm hand off. Part of him is trying to store the moment in his memory banks and the other feels overwhelming disgust in the pit of his thirium pump. Something black and viscous wrapping around it. For the first time, It’s not the plants inside of him.

\-----------

Nines staggers through Gavin’s apartment door. He’s not breathing, his systems are overheating. Pain is everywhere. He’s tempted to rip his processor to end it all.

This is it. He couldn't escape his sentence in time and pushed Gavin away in the process. 

Blue, blue, blue. He’s dripping blue all over the floor. Every movement he makes ends with pain and more blue. His life is ending and no one knows what is going on. He’ll damage something before he’s even considered strangely absent.

He collapses on the floor. The sound of something breaking and the blacing out of one of his visual processors tells him this is real. Very real. He’s gonna die this time. He doesn’t want to die. 

“I can’t breathe” he realizes out loud. His processors are drying out, shrinking. He's gonna die. Its over. 

It hurts so much. 

He’s not going to survive this.

His vision flickers, once, twice, three times.

His arms are heavy and numb, sleepy. 

Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe he deserves it for being a coward.

his vision flickers one more time.

no no no no he doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to die.

he can’t just die like this.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Gavin is fucking pissed. Fucking Nines has been avoiding him for god knows what. 

The transfer. the avoidance. the sarcasm. How can he do this?

He thought they were friends. Good friends. Okay, maybe he wanted to be more than friends with the poor guy. But, can anyone blame Gavin? Nines is  _ wonderful.  _ It hurts to think that maybe all Gavin was for him was a friendly coworker. Who knows if they even share the same concept of friendship. 

Gavin feels a little rejected and maybe he shouldn't be. He never gave any verbal indication to Nines that he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he shouldn’t feel this way. Maybe he read Nines wrong.

He’s concerned for the android. he acts like he’s invincible, all mighty and all powerful. Yeah, he’s an android but even androids, beings built to be stronger than humans, have their limits. The pains Nines has been experiencing makes Gavin feel like maybe Nines is operating on borrowed time. he wants to ask, he wants to support him but Nines won’t let him.

That’s why he’s showing up to Nines’s place, unannounced. He wants to do this. He needs to have an honest talk with him. 

He uses the spare key Connor gave him to open the door. who knew, the android built to be a detective was very perceptive to how much Nines means to Gavin. Connor confessed he was worried about Nines and that, if he trusts Gavin more, maybe the human should be the one to talk some sense into whatever the android is thinking.

Connor must have other standards he didn't mention to Gavin but he won't question the android's unspoken trust in him. 

Gavin enters the compound and then nines apartment to find Nines, the android that has tainted every thought he has had for a while now, collapsed on the floor. 

Gavin rushes to him, shoes reverberating on the hardwood floor until he's kneeling by the android's body. Nine's covered in speckles of blue, face slack, eyes lost in the ceiling. the smell of perfume invades gavins nostrils. 

Horror fills his chest. No, no it can't be. 

"Nines ? Nines please talk to me," Gavin’s own voice is far away. 

Nines coughs. Blue thirium splashes them both. 

“Nines! Nines!” Gavin whispers in relief. His hands take Nines’s way too cold cheeks, hanging on to those minimal signs of life. 

The android’s eyes finally zero on Gavin. “Ga...vin...”

It’s unsettling, his voice doesn’t show strain of any kind. It just sounds like Nines is having trouble forming words.

“Are you okay? i need to get you to a hospi- to a, a, fuck! whatever cyberlife thing you’re supposed to go to-” Gavin lets Nines go. He needs to find his keys. He has to get him to nearby cyberlife building or whatever it’s called-

“Gavin,” Nines’s voice goes through a thousand different pitches, startling Gavin.

“It's the hanahaki” a cough, "disease," 

Gavin can't breathe. Is Nines serious? 

He gives a nervous, sudden and brief, laugh. 

“It can’t be. You don't mean that.” Gavin knows what that shit is, remembers it. If it's real, then… 

"Nines, who is it?" The android is having visible trouble pronouncing words. He swallows, blinking blearily up at Gavin. 

"Who?" Gavin insists. He's gonna rip that motherfucker a new one. That person may not be at fault but goddamn, he wishes nines wasn't in this situation.

"Y-You."

Gavin freezes, ice spreading through his spine. He did this. 

"What" Gavin's voice breaks. he clears his throat. "b-but I do love you," Gavin practically whines. It's unfair. Fuck, it's so unfair. 

Nines coughs one more time. His face slowly gets more animated, seemingly at the information

"You do?" he sounds so surprised it hurts. His voice box is damaged. The volume is low and some consonants sound wrong. 

Gavin is so stunned he laughs “You are a dumbass, dumbass” Gavin swears he sees humor in those mischievous grey eyes.  _ Still alive and in need of help.  _ “I’m sure i was being obvious as fuck..”

"How are you feeling? " he searches for cyberlife number and dials. Slightly calmer than before. 

Niness cold hand wraps around Gavin's and brings it to his chest. "Need. Thirium." A pause. Gavin swallows. What is he supposed to do now? CPR? What’s the equivalent for androids? Maybe it’s the thirium. Fuck, didn’t Nines just tell him he needs it? guess he better do that first and then call whoever. Connor. Connor is the who.

He’s about to ask Nines where he has some when a robotic whine breaks the silence "I'm… Fine."

Gavin scoffs at the preposterous idea. "Uh, no. You aren't." There’s no way in hell he’s okay. He doesn’t seem to be able to move…

  
  


His voice is tense and he wants to scream. He’s a detective for fuck’s sakes why does he feel like he’s about to lose it? 

Ah that’s right. It’s not just anyone. It’s  _ Nines _ . 

“Where do you have your thirium? Are you about to shut down?” He asks searching for overt signs of damage. No cuts, no scrapes, only a failing voice box and who knows what else. Might as well avoid bleeding out before going to cyberlife.

Suddenly, a sound comes from Nine’s chest. The crunching sound of  _ something _ reaches Gavin’s ears and the air becomes easier to breathe. Nines talks, exhausted and not at all worried about the sound.

“Inside the fridge.”

Gavin nods, too stunned by what he just witnessed to ask Nines if he heard the same thing he just did. He stands up, legs numb, and goes to Nines’s impeccable and unused kitchen. He opens the fridge and gets three bags of thirium, just in case.

He kneels near Nines and pulls Nines to sit against the wall. Nines slowly sits up, looking dazed. Gavin puts the bag against his lips, not letting Nines anymore than that. Nines drinks up greedily. 

“How do you feel, are you in pain still?” Jesus Christ, his pains got worse. What the hell is going on with his systems. How the hell doesn’t cyberlife have the technology to detect and treat whatever is going on with… their inventions? He regrets going down that train of thought. Synthetic or not, androids are people anyway.

“No” Nines leans back on the wall, not what Gavin would expect from someone who can’t get tired the same way a human would. Oh well, he learns new things everyday.

“Hanahaki. I think- I think I’m,” He looks at Gavin, a smile brightening his features. Nines still has thirium around his mouth and it’s not the sight Gavin was expecting to see today.”I’m cured, Gavin.” 

“What?” How the hell did that happen? Nines pulls Gavin into an unexpected hug. “But- your pains! Don’t you need another check up-” Nines then does something Gavin never thought he would see:

Nines unbuttons his shirt and then the  _ skin  _ around his chest dissapears. Gavin can see the valve that constitutes Nines’s chest and there’s-

There’s flowers inside. All sorts. Blue carnations. He always thought they were beautiful even though they can’t exist naturally. 

It’s wonderfully poetic.

“So… what does it mean?” This is like that one case. As Nines said: Hanahaki. It’s real. He just admitted he has romantic feelings for Nines. Did that actually keep him from death? Is that Gavin’s fault then?

Nines looks like he’s understood the meaning of life, light and refreshed...somehow. Maybe he  _ did _ see the light. what does Gavin know?

“It means, no more pain.” Nines looks down on the floor. “So… I assume you meant… that.”

It takes Gavin a second to remember he  _ did _ admit his feelings to Nines while he was practically dying. But it did help, didn’t it? He can sacrifice his pride for saving Nines, sacrificing their friendship though-

“I did.” He admits, mouth dry and body vibrating still from the shock. “You wanna do something about it?” He knows it’s not the most romantic or appropriate thing to say but he needs an appropriate answer. Being Nine’s savior from a cruel joke of a disease doesn’t give him the right to anything.

Nines puts his head on Gavin’s shoulder voicelessly. His synthetic breaths brushing Gavin’s neck, lips almost touching it. “Yes.”

_ \---------- _

Nines takes out every flower inside him.

It’s sickening. 

They are pretty, at least Nines thinks so, but the fact that they have tried to kill him takes away some of their value for him. 

He doesn’t feel at all guilty when the trash gets taken out with them inside.

Nines goes to the couch where Gavin is currently watching TV and sits beside the human he appreciates the company of. Gavin gives him a peck on the cheek and continues watching TV. 

He’s got a lot but limited time to get to know Gavin, and he plans to use every second of it.


End file.
